We were sitting in the front room after school on Monday afternoon. The 3 younger boys were playing PlayStation and Eleven was working on his First Aid merit badge workbook (I swear, that damn thing took FOREVER).
He looked at me and asked, “Mom, is S@nta real?”
And my heart broke into a million pieces. I looked at him and said, “We are going to have to talk about this later, if that’s ok.”
“You’ve answered my question, Mom.” Then, he went back to his workbook.
Granted eleven years old is a bit old to be believing in S@nta, but one thing that I’ve always wanted my kids to do is be kids as long as possible. That includes the great S@nta mystery or lie, however you look at it.
I really didn’t know how to address that we’ve been lying to him for, oh, 11 years or so. Then I remembered one of my friends from LiveJournal, jessesmom had a discussion with her son about S@nta. For a 9 year old, he had a very deep, but valid explanation for S@nta - “S@nta isn’t a real person, S@nta is an action.”
When I read that a few days ago, it hit me that I had an explanation for Eleven when he asked or I told him, whichever came first. S@nta IS an action, it is an action of love, an action of giving. S@nta is in each and everyone of us.
Thanks to a very smart 9 year old, I was able to share the mystery of S@nta with Eleven. He wasn’t disappointed, he wasn’t hurt. He’s been initated into the S@nta club, and has been sworn to secrecy. We don’t want him to spill the beans to his little brothers. This year, he also gets to participate in the magic of BEING S@nta.
Like jessesmom said, ” We are all capable of being S@nta all year round, be it in a kind word, a helping hand or the simple gift of a smile. S@nta lives in our hearts & minds. So, yes, Jesse, there is a S@nta Claus, and I hope & pray that you continue to believe that S@nta IS an action, that you embrace it and live you life being S@nta to anyone who may need a reminder.”
So if you do nothing else this holiday season, and beyond it, be S@nta to someone else.
So, yes, Eleven there is a S@nta Claus. Right in our hearts.
(Sorry about all of the @ symbols, I’d hate for a kid to goo.gle about S@nta and find this post.)
6 responses so far ↓
1 heather // Dec 10, 2008 at 12:05 pm
At least you got to talk to him about it. Kids at school told my daughter.
2 Aunt Becky // Dec 10, 2008 at 12:45 pm
That’s just how my mom explained it to me. And I think it fits well. Nice work.
3 mandy // Dec 10, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Our explanation goes something like this:
Santa Claus was a real person who helped Jesus share all of his birthday presents..Now there are lots of santas who do it for children everywhere…
I don’t want the real Christmas meaning to be lost on them, and I also want them to have fun believing in Santa, so this way I don’t have the guilt of having to one day come clean. My parents always told me Santa was fake, so I was always disappointed with that explanation.
4 Theresa // Dec 11, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I like that idea too. I of course learned about Santa from the same place I did sex. Rumors and school gossip! I am dreading when I have to tell me kids. Or they ask! Right now my first graders will say something and I swear up and down Santa is real!!
5 Rebecca Burch // Dec 15, 2008 at 10:23 am
I love this post. Joseph is 10 and is on the verge of figuring it all out. I think I’m going to use this approach to deal with it.
I don’t think Isaac ever really believed in S@nta. I swear, the boy was born an adult.
6 Jenn // Dec 18, 2008 at 10:53 am
@Heather - I still think that he heard it from school, but wanted to hear the truth from me. I’m hoping at least. I always want to choke the little shits that tell the other kids.
@Aunt Becky - Thanks. It’s good to know that others before me have used the same explanation. Makes me less weird you know. *snort*
@Mandy - That’s another good way to explain it. We aren’t very religious though. Which might explain why my kids don’t get the real meaning of Christmas. One of my major failings as a parent.
@Theresa - I learned alot from school gossip though, heh. 1st graders are asking if Santa is real? What is this world coming to?
@ Rebecca Burch - They grow up too quick, don’t they? Six is alot like Isaac, he’s wise beyond his years.
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